
I remember why I got it, just not when I got it. Getting tattoo means different things to different people. For some it is a very public display of individuality, almost defiance and others it is a simple personal statement.
What does it mean for me? It is personal for me. This one especially. It symbolizes, represents, marks... whatever you want to call it... that Christine is a part of me for the rest of my life. I know we are married, I know that is what marriage means. I am not taking anything away from that. Like I said a tattoo for me is personal. So maybe a little more explanation is in order.
Growing up, I was kind of a lost soul. Especially when I hit college. I didn't really belong in any world, any culture. I believe a lot of kids from my generation and later generations feel this way to some extent. I don't have a strong ethnic or racial background. Most people would consider me Caucasian, but I am not English, French, Greek, Irish, Russian or Jewish, even though I have a Hebrew name. I am a mixed breed. I have a little of everything in me. As far as I know, my natural dad was French-Canadian. But he died when I was very young, so even if he was purely French-Canadian, I don't feel any ties to being French-Canadian. My mom has some Cherokee blood in her.. along with who knows what else. My mom has connected to her Cherokee past and made sure my brother and I are registered member of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma (as of 01/20/91). So at best I am French/Cherokee/ and something else.
So growing up in my little town, I never really viewed the world in ethnic or even racial tones. Mexican, Filipino, English. were just words to me. I didn't have a clue to the culture behind such terms. Looking back I think that is why I felt disconnected during my college years. I was thrown from a world that many would feel uncultured and bland, to a vibrant place of many cultures.. Mexican, Navajo, Apache, New Mexican, Catholic, Jewish. People who fiercely identified with either their race, their ethnicity or their religion. Usually it was a combination of both. But one thing was always the same. It was something that was uniquely theirs and I was on the outside looking in.
And it made me feel like I was missing something. What did I lose? And then I realized.. I am an example of what many people have sacrificed when either they immigrated to the United States or if they stood in the way of the immigrants. This great melting pot of ours is the land of opportunity, but it does come with a price. It can take your culture away from you. The longer your family lives here, the less connected with your past you become. Can I claim being a Cherokee? Maybe. But I do not know the culture. I almost feel it would be an insult to the tribal members who had to suffer the lies, the pain and the death of the trail of tears for me to claim to be Cherokee.
So how did I reconcile with this loss I felt. I just accepted that I am a mutt. I don't make a claim to a religion, an ethnicity or even a race. I let people classify me as they will. And I am sure you now asking... how the heck does this ramble connect to my first tattoo.
Well when I decided to get my first tattoo, it was a personal and very private moment for me. I had just gotten over some issues and felt like I had matured as a person. I asked my mom on what I should get. I didn't ask if I should get a tattoo, but what to get. I think she figured out that I was getting it no matter what. She suggested to get our names in Cherokee. That struck me hard. I realized then how important being Cherokee was for my mom. So my first tattoo was a band composed of Anglo-Hebrew names in Cherokee symbols. In many ways that represents my religion, my ethnicity and my race. It represents everything this mutt has.
And so my latest tattoo is "Daniel Christine" in Cherokee symbols. It represents her connection to my family's religion, ethnicity and race. I know it is not as grand or formal or public as the beautiful wedding that we had, but too me this personal act of getting a tattoo is also an important symbol.
Ok.. enough rambling. No picture of the tattoo.. Just a picture of the wifey and me..!
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