so many thoughts...

It is a Sunday night. The Nuggets have just got crushed again. The team is a little frustrating to watch tonight. They just seemed a step off and never got it going.

How is life with me? It is good. So many thoughts bouncing around in my head. The days are speeding by and I am going to be married in less than 3 months. I was driving to work this week and total feeling of joy and happiness came over me. It was like a warm glow. With all my heart I am looking forward to my wedding day.

There have been a lot of little hurdles in the last couple of months to get to this point. The Catholic wedding has led to many seminars and workshops so we can get married in a Church. I have to admit that most of the time it has been a little boring and both Christine and I have rolled our eyes a little bit at some of the topics.

Surprisingly, the topics haven't been to focused on religion. One of the seminars really focused on life skills, while the pre cana class tried to give warnings and hints about married life. What exactly did these prove to me? Well.. I think the main thing is that marriage has evolved into something extremely different than it was.

Even as soon as 50-70 years ago and in other countries right now. You don't really choose who you are married to. You don't find your soulmate. You marry the person that your family wants, or if you are lucky you choose from a group of people at a specific time. Then you learn to love them. That is what marriage was about. You could tell that was behind the information we reviewed in our pre cana classes.

So, the focus of many talks was to make the best out of your situation. It isn't going to be perfect. You aren't going to get your way. Sacrifice is something you are going to do. Compromise is something you will need to do. I can see that.

Marriage is a different institution now. You can choose the person you love. You can choose the commitment. This is awesome. But of course the downside to this is the high rate of divorce and the erosion of marriage in our society. And that really is the catch. With the freedom in culture offers, where does that put marriage? Well I think that it has to come from within. The commitment, the sacrifice, the love has to be something that you stand for. Because a failed marriage is commonplace and the stigma is not as great at before.

And YES.. I do have strong feelings about commitment and marriage. I have had many good role models in my life. My family and my friends represent many successful examples of commitment. I did not take this step lightly. It is a lifetime and I plan on leading a long life. And as they days come closer to when I am married to Christine, the more excited, more content, more whole I feel. It has been a long road for me. Probably more turns and twists and second chances than I deserve. Guess that is why I feel so lucky.

Well, I guess this is a little bit of a rambling entry. I will try to be a little more focused next time. Don't try to make sense of the entry. It is what it is......